I'm moving in a few weeks. Third time in two years. To the place that I call home. To my friends who are my chosen family. Leaving behind a 15 year marriage, businesses, a house and the ghosts of many dreams - both personal and professional. It's been a very emotional couple of days (months, years) as I've begun to let go yet again.
What will be waiting for me? Who will I be as I re-create myself? Can I find the strength to go it alone? Will I succeed? Tears have been flowing as memories pour out. Making space for all the new to come in and fill me up again.
I walked back to my bedroom to change and was startled by this large cat with his laser eyes and his lion energy standing at my back door. I had never seen him before. He meowed to me, calling me outside and my body was moved to be out there with him. I never touched him though I knew I could have. Instead, I sat on my couch, crossed my legs and laid my hands to rest on my knees. I closed my eyes and began breathing deeply and meditating. Going deep into my third eye. His eyes flashed there, he was with me. I shuddered at the incoming energy. I kept breathing.
He had come to sit next to me his nose on my hand to let me know he was there, then he pressed his body against my leg with his tail on my thigh and sat. I continued to breathe and fill my heart with love and sent that love out to him, to the universe. I asked if he wanted to join me in that space and he was already there.
He gave me two words "POWERFUL" and "INDEPENDENT" over and over. Until it was part of my consciousness. I said to him that I understood. I asked if he wanted to receive love in return and he accepted that. He stayed. A few minutes went by, he jumped off the couch, walked across the yard and was gone. My heart was racing. He was a messenger with exactly what I needed to see and hear.
His power and independence was undeniable from the very first second I locked eyes with him. He wanted me to see that in myself.